Kalonzo Musyoka – Which way is he going? Wiper Democratic Party?

Some fool, at some point way back in the mists of time, came up with the line often repeated since, that there is “No such thing as bad publicity”: don’t you believe it.

There’s a little wooden sign on a bend on the Ngong Road, with red lettering on a white background. It’s neatly done and quite eye-catching, advertising the services of a signs writer. It reads: ‘Signs Writter’, and underneath is a telephone number. It’s well placed advertising, it’s clear and simple but no one in their right mind is going to employ the services of a ‘Signs Writter’: a ‘Signs Writer’ perhaps, not a ‘Signs Writter’.

Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka’s Orange Democratic Movement- Kenya (ODM-Kenya) has re-branded itself (again). It was a decision apparently taken recently during the party’s National Executive Council meeting. “Our party has gone through a lot of changes since we re-branded a while ago as we prepare ourselves for the forthcoming elections”, the party’s Secretary General Mutula Kilonzo to The Star (‘ODM-K changes name to Wiper Democratic Party’).

What is the result of this latest great re-branding exercise? ODM-Kenya is now to be called the ‘Wiper Democratic Party’. Honest.

What were ODM-Kenya’s marketing or campaign advisors thinking of?

FLIP-FLOPPING

The Kenya Forum does not want to show any disrespect to our country’s Vice President but the readers will surely have to admit that the leader of ODM-Kenya has a reputation problem. It’s for, what the American’s call, ‘flip-flopping’, i.e., changing his mind, or taking time to make up his mind depending on which way he thinks the wind is blowing.

Wasn’t it the same Kalonzo Musyoka before the last election who was in the ODM but realizing he wouldn’t get the party’s nomination over Raila Odinga suddenly, not long before the election, formed ODM-Kenya (whose nomination he was assured of)?

Isn’t this the same Kalonzo Musyoka who before last year’s referendum on the constitution swerved this way and then that, making up his mind as to whether he would vote ‘Yes’ or ‘No’?

Surely this is the same Kalonzo Musyoka that is so renowned for trying to be all things to all men that although his party’s symbol became one-and-a-half oranges (more than the full orange of the ODM – get it?) that he became known as ‘the melon’ – green on the outside, red in the middle!

THOSE THAT LAUGH…

So now we have Kalonzo Musyoka’s ODM-Kenya with the party logo of a car’s windscreen wiper, presumably meaning, they would wish us to believe and understand, that they have a clear vision. But don’t a car’s wipers go from one side to another, first right, then left, then right, then left..?

Kalonzo Musyoka’s new party’s campaign vehicle may be driving with it its new wipers working but it hasn’t got its lights on. He and they should remember the other old adage of political campaigning: “When people laugh at you, not with you, you’ve had it”.