Photo courtesy Capital News

A study commissioned by the Sunday Standard and conducted by Infotrack Research and Consulting has revealed that fears and conflicts in marriages are driving women into the arms of other men.

In the story by Daniel Wesangula, experts on social and relationship matters maintained that lack of communication on emotional and sexual matters is the leading cause for women to cheat on their husbands.

“As husbands strive to look for resources and make investments they ignore the emotional needs of their wives,” said sociologist Loise Okello, adding that in most cases the women end up having a relationship with a much younger man over whom they have authority.

FEARS AMONG MARRIED COUPLES

Not being able to provide for his family, outsiders being on the know-how of his family’s struggles and infidelity from his wife are the leading fears among married men while women fear being cheated on, infection with a chronic disease and domestic violence.

WHAT IS SHE STUDYING?

And is your husband or wife out in the evenings studying for that extra qualifications? Beware! The MBA degree course, or rather the use of it as an excuse, was also listed in the survey as a common story for a cheating spouse trying to cover his or her tracks…

MOST MEN BELIEVE WOMEN CHEAT LESS, STUDIES SUGGEST OTHERWISE

Infidelity among men is more common and hardly raises any eyebrows unlike with women where it’s considered exceptional and a disgrace. A survey conducted last year by Ipsos Synovate (previously known as Steadman) revealed that most men did not think that their partners are likely to cheat simply because when a man trusts a woman it means more than just that he knows she won’t cheat on him. (See ‘Kenyan women and better at cheating than the men‘, 1 August, 2012).

However, the glaring facts based on recent studies are that women are cheating on their spouses as much if not more than men. In the article linked to above, we have presented an expert’s belief that since women are naturally schemers – a potentially controversial point that deserves discussion -, they are more discreet and keen on their escapades and will hardly get caught.

CONTROVERSIAL CONDOM ADVERTISEMENT

Last year a controversial condom advertisement by PSI that showed two women having a chat in which one woman advises her friend to use a condom in her extra-marital affair, was received with mixed reactions by Kenyans with opponents arguing that the ad was promoting immorality amongst women.

Those supporting it were of the opinion that opponents were offended simply because the controversial ad was depicting infidelity in women but felt that the same would be acceptable if men were in the picture.

Eventually the controversial commercial was banned from airing until further adjustments were done. This forced the organization to adjust a few of its word choices before it could air once again.

IS KENYAN SOCIETY SHYING AWAY FROM REALITY?

Infidelity among women may or may not be on the rise but it seems like the society is still pretending ignorance to this fact which then begs the question; are we burying our heads in the sand as far as the issue of morality in women is concerned?

According to Francis Akuka, a relationship guru and the author of Pillow Talk, claims that it’s just that society just holds women in high esteem.

“Women are better custodians of moral values in the society and we have bestowed that responsibility to them, it therefore becomes unbearable to imagine that they (women) have been reduced to the same levels as men.”

The Kenya Forum has not undertaken its own scientific study of this question but we do observe that it take two to tango!